This easy.

I miss your kisses
The shivers you left my body with
I remember the way you felt.
Come back to me please.
It doesn’t have to be this
Easy to say goodbye.

It shouldn’t be this easy
Not after all the years I held you close
All our secrets, our memories.

I’ve never opened up to anyone.
Especially in the ways I have with you. You’ve taught me what closeness is.

It shouldn’t be this easy
This easy for us to slip away.
Even though I touch your body,
You are just not the same.

I still choose to stay,
We’ve both had our chances.
I can’t be with you
Or without.

I’m anxious to admit
The severity in which I’m terrified
Of being alone.

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Hands and knees

You make me weary

The way you have made me cum
Has become my biggest obsession
I become sick with desire

My nose can’t forget the aroma
You left on my skin.
Your handprint on my ass
My greatest sin.

Smolder me with your sex
Make me want you
Even if you detest my whole being.

A personal hell I keep locked inside
I’d crawl,
Get my on my hands and knees

I will be the girl you need. 

Scares me more

Your freshly cut hair prickled
The tips of my fingers.
I used my one last wish
To wish you would turn to me

Your innocence lights up
Who you are as you slept
So soundly

I kept reaching back
Praying that the results would change
Scared maybe you wouldn’t be there

You seemed to really see me
But in a different way then
I’m used to.

I could really need you
And that scares me more…

If you weren’t worth it.

By now we know enough
By experience or just by luck.
I wouldn’t be stuck in this hell
If you weren’t worth it.
No matter the amount of times
I scrub my skin until its raw and red
I can’t seem to get your scent off.
Your breath lost in the crease connecting sweet spots
Your fingerprint I thought just temporary hasn’t budged a bit.

You said we’ll see what happens
But, we never did.

Acid

All the pretty lights are no disguise
Even when I close my eyes
It’s still you I see
An image so clear painted by memories
Cigarette in hand and the pretend
Warmth you give me.
The lights made it clear
They chased my doubt away
As friend or fuck buddy I can’t be
Without you

-cannabiskatlady

Drunk

Drunk on love.
You could never see the
Beauty in the world
The way I do
Sometimes I miss your hands
But not enough to change for you.

I could never begin                      
To believe in pretend wishes.     

This was never my desire.

-cannabiskatlady

White queen.

She is standing alone with a cigarette in one hand
The letter he left her in the other.
She never craved nicotine
Unless she was with him.

He stood shivering, face dripping.
He’s never had it this bad.
He needs his white queen.
His first love, real addiction.

Her big eyes spill all her fears.
He couldn’t be happy with out her,
She obsessed over the hold he had
He had a way of making the good seem like old news.

The cigarette burns out
The chill from the nights air,
And the stain of new fingertips
Keep the pain of loneliness out of sight.

She always needed more then one’s
Affirmation. And more then ones kisses
On her skin. She had her addictions.
But his white queen always wins.

-cannabiskatlady

One day I might miss the way your
Voice sounded in the morning.
One day I might regret closing my eyes
And seeing someone else instead.
You need your coffee in the mornings
To keep you from being an ass.
I need to cum some mornings
To keep me from thinking rash.
When we get alone we do nothing
But fight or fuck.

-cannabiskatlady