My trouble maker

I spend my days
Searching for
Loopholes.
Inside holy texts
Searching for something
That might convince you to
Make your way back to me.
But God never spoke
Of us in that kind of way.
And, I just don’t see the love in that.

You could say I’m waiting for you
To make your move,
But I guess no move, is a move
If you look at it in the light.

But don’t you dare tell me you can’t remember
How we laughed all night,
Having marathons, and talking about our addictions
Like we could see a future inside this moment of weakness
How you knew all my secrets,
How you were my secret
How you whispered to me
And you always knew how to talk
Me into my biggest sins
Then disappeared while I faced
The consequences

I wish it was enough of an excuse
To say
That you taste like someone I once
Knew, but no longer can
Remember his name.
You were my everything.
Yet, you were never mine to have.
Thanks for the lessons
My little trouble maker.

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The captain’s wife

Her hands trembled
As the captain’s wife
Returned with the
Bottle of opium.
Anxious to be breaking
Her body in a
Peculiar way.
He met her
In this gold small
World and bowed
His head to the
Queen of highs.

Insomniac

Sometimes in my insomniac episodes
I will stay up and think of you.
The way you used to touch me
And how the promises you didn’t
Need to say out loud, terrified me.
One day I would be older.
One day I would understand.
That the space between my legs was not meant for your hands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know.
I know, I’ve heard it all before
‘What was done to you
You’ll do to them.’
But even today my sexuality
Still clings to the
Only truth it has known.
It doesn’t matter if I moaned
Or if I screamed and
Tried to get away
You still had your fingers
In places they shouldn’t be.
In some kind of way
I still belong to you.
The child in me aches, every time I hear your name.                                 

It was silly for me to believe
That one day I’d be free
From that mad man’s
Hypocrisy.